Friday 6 February 2015

I am not Jack.






Investment
ɪnˈvɛs(t)m(ə)nt/
noun
noun: investment; plural noun: investments
•The action or process of investing money for profit.
• A thing that is worth buying because it may be profitable or useful in the future.
• An act of devoting time, effort, or energy to a particular undertaking with the expectation of a worthwhile result.



To most people the words ‘investment’ and ‘ka-ching!’ are synonymous..... We think of stocks, real estate, businesses, etcetera and equate an investment to something tangible, something we can visualise plummeting its way up a graph and growing into endless possibilities.

My mum is a bona-fide investor and for most of my childhood she was out of the country running her business then coming back home to invest her hard earned money on whatever she supposed important to her. Seeing how little of it she was spending on herself (or us), and how much of it went into expanding her real estate portfolio or ended up just sitting in her many bank accounts put me off financial investments for good.

Because of her I vowed to spend every single cent I work hard for on myself and instead, invest on what my mum didn't have time to invest in..... Relationships.

Relationships, mainly romantic aren't the easiest place to invest, if anything they are the riskiest kind of investments mainly because people tend to invest a great deal and it is in such kind of a relationship that you can get burnt the most. We tie up our possessions, sacrifices are made and we invest time, emotions, energy and money for our partners. It is in such settings where people have put a great deal into their relationships that they want to avoid ‘killing’ those investments; so like anyone who trades in the stock market, they are more likely to continue enduring with their relationships in the hope that the subsequent returns will be in their ultimate favour.

My biggest sacrifice in a relationship was packing up and relocating from Kenya to Edinburgh; but unlike most ‘business minded’ people, I didn't have the patience to stick around the constant changes and heartbreaks to find out whether my investment was worth my while..... Life is too short I always say, some roads are better off untravelled.


Truth is, your return in any investment is always relative to the risk you take..... Something most people tend to conveniently ignore when it comes to relationships. They just want to take, take, take and take.
A good example of what a “fair” relationship would be is the barter trade era; where people would assumingly spend the whole day haggling with each other until they came to a mutual agreement as to what was deemed fair. I would like to think that nobody would be happy to go to the market with a cow and come back home with “magic” beans.

If the same rule of thumb would be applied to relationships then there wouldn't be such a huge problem. The least you should expect is what you are giving..... So when you are putting too much and getting too little, you are investing in the wrong person.
The monarchy of relationships dictates that outstanding rates of return can only be fully realized through taking huge, at times terrifying, and strikingly risky leaps of faith. But how do we recover if and when we lose an investment? Surely not by bouncing back with a third party stimulus; but with slow and steady ‘economic’ recovery, by admitting that we will habitually win some and lose some, and most importantly, by viewing ‘economic loss’ as capital gain.


Nobody deserves feeling “robbed”.


“Genuine love is rarely an emotional space where needs are instantly gratified. To know love we have to invest time and commitment.....'dreaming that love will save us, solve all our problems or provide a steady state of bliss or security only keeps us stuck in wishful fantasy, undermining the real power of the love -- which is to transform us. Many people want love to function like a drug, giving them an immediate and sustained high. They want to do nothing, just passively receive the good feeling.” 
-Bell Hooks


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