A child is born with the potential ability to learn Chinese
or Swahili, play a kazoo, climb a tree, make a strudel or a birdhouse, take
pleasure in finding the coordinates of a star. Genetic inheritance determines a
child's abilities and weaknesses. But those who raise a child call forth from
that matrix the traits and talents they consider important." Emilie Buchwald
A few days ago I was watching an amazing movie called Salmon Fishing in the
The salmon is meant to be imported from Scotland but because of the spirited opposition by fly fishermen to removing salmon from British rivers, they are forced to proceed with farmed salmon. The sheikh does not believe that salmon bred in captivity will ever survive because they won’t have the natural instinct to won’t to swim upstream to spawn on gravel beds like wild salmon; even Jones is doubtful. The sheikh rejects the offer but eventually Jones convinces the sheikh to give the farmed salmon a try.
Although his science background tells him otherwise, Jones has faith that the salmon will instinctively swim upstream - a faith the sheikh finds ironic.
On the salmon launch day, they open the pods, at first the salmon float with the Yemen river current, but then one fish starts to swim upstream, and then others, and soon everyone celebrates the success of the project.
And here is where the Nature vs. Nurture debate comes to play.
I ve always felt that in many ways, my older brother Mark and I are the same. Apart from having similar birth marks, we have a similar sense of humour; we share similar opinions and are similarly stubborn. However, we hugely vary in certain abilities and our approach to difficult situations.
He tends to lock himself up whenever he is going through a hard time and I tend to open up to the universe whenever my day isn't going on so well. I also am more ruthless, decisive and would rather stay up and fight while he is a bit passive, indecisive and would rather ‘sleep it off and leave it for another day.’
Mark aside, I happen to have been brought up by a very similar mother.
I could easily say that I am a very strong willed woman who is not one to settle for less and if pushed, can cross the limits to get what she wants..... Now I know that that is scary and as much as I know what I am capable of, I have thankfully never been pushed to that extent, but I am always worried that I have in some aspects turned out to be my mother’s daughter.
Now I am not trying to say that I was brought up by Cruella de Vil and her many Dalmatians; my mother is a very inspirational woman with a very inspirational story. She rose from nothing to something and it is her exceptional will power that drove her to where she is today.
Mum went through a really hard time; she was forced to drop out of college so her brothers could go through school and ended up with an abusive husband who used to beat the living daylights off her and eventually took her back to her mother when he got fed up with her. Had she decided to ‘accept her circumstances’, I would be somewhere in the village with cracked heels, drooping boobs and several hungry and malnourished kids tagging behind me like a pack of dogs to their master.
But she never settled; she got out of the village and went into the city with her kids in search for a better life; after walking away from several malfunctioning relationships, she eventually got a man who made all of us happy, the man whose name I proudly wear like a badge of honour.
Now not everyone is as lucky as I am, some parents do get comfortable in their ‘poverty’ and assume that there isn't much they can do to change things.
What makes me who I am? What brings my dreams to reality?
Buddah once said, "All that we are is a result of what we have thought" and I do agree with him.
Luckily, I have never really struggled in my life; of course I have had some episodes of bumps and hiccups, but most things I have wanted have in one way or another been delivered to me.
I am a very strong believer in the power of attraction and I know that “You can be anything you want to be, only if you put your mind into it.”
Nature would have wanted me to be poor, nature would have wanted me I grow up in my circumstances and get over it.....
So has nature taught me anything positive along the way? I guess it has.
I can give credit where it is due, Nature has taught me how to be selfless and how to love people with every single hair on my body. It has also taught me that there is more to life than shoving people out of my way to get my share of the pie.
I do disagree with my mother on many occasions, but she has taught me several consequential lessons along the way, 1. To get what’s mine, 2. To walk out of any relationship that doesn't work out for me and 3. Never to have kids (which she strongly disagrees with by the way but that will be another story for later.)
And when it's all said and done, in theory I am who I am due to a little bit of nature, nurture..... and some handy free will.
"The route through childhood is shaped by many forces, and it
differs for each of us. Our biological inheritance, the temperament with which
we are born, the care we receive, our family relationships, the place where we
grow up, the schools we attend, the culture in which we participate, and the
historical period in which we live--all these affect the paths we take through
childhood and condition the remainder of our lives."
Robert H Wozniak.
