“I'm the one that's got to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to.” Jimi Hendrix
I got a call at work the other day; the lady at the other end
of the line said to me “This is the strangest call you will probably ever
receive..... I am dying in five months.....And I want to know how my estate
will be divided, so I need a copy of my mortgage loan agreement sent to me. My
husband is estranged and I have to do this alone.”
By the time I was done with that call I was breaking down in
tears.
She said to me “You have been so pleasant with me, I really
appreciate it. The doctors have tried everything but nothing has worked.....
just cross your fingers and wish me luck.”
For a split second I wanted to dig in deeper and ask her
what was she was ailing from, tell her that if she needed anyone to talk to I
was there and tell her I loved her even though I didn't know her..... I wanted
to tell her all that and a whole lot more. But I couldn't that is not what my job entails. My jobs
expects me to sit on the fence and not slip on the other side, it expects me to
stay calm, be focused and composed.....I was despondent, I did break down and
Stacey (my lovely work mate) was the one picking up my pieces after that call.
It reminded me of a Queen Latifah movie I watched years ago
titled ‘Last holiday’; I will bore you (and myself) with a short synopsis just
to paint a picture of where I am coming from. It is about Georgia Byrd, a shy,
unassuming woman who works as an employee in the cookware department at
Kragen's Department Store in New Orleans. She longs to cook professionally, and
records her dreams of a better life in her journal labeled "Possibilities."
It is the Christmas
holiday season. While flirting with a co-worker, she bumps her head on a
cabinet door and is taken to the store's health centre for a CAT scan. There
she is told by company physician that she has several brain tumours resulting
from a rare neurological disorder called Lampington's Disease which could be
terminal if not treated. Since her health maintenance organization plan will
not cover the exorbitant cost of an operation, Georgia resigns herself to the
fact she has only a few weeks to live, quits her job, liquidates her assets,
and sets off on a dream vacation at the deluxe Grandhotel Pupp in the spa city
of Karlovy Vary in the Czech Republic.
Free of inhibitions and determined to live life to the
fullest, Georgia checks into the Presidential Suite, buys a designer wardrobe
in expensive boutiques, makes extensive use of the hotel's spa facilities,
attempts snowboarding and base jumping off of a dam, enjoys succulent meals
prepared by world-renowned Chef Didier (played by the magnificent Gérard
Depardieu and wins a small fortune playing roulette in the casino (Yada.....
Yada..... Yada.....)
To cut the long story short, while on her ‘holiday of a
lifetime’ Georgia receives a fax from
her physician, in which he tells her that she was misdiagnosed due to X-rays
generated by a broken, outdated CAT scanner.
The thought got me reflecting; what would I do if I knew my
“expiry date” was due soon? Would I be glad to know, or would I be wretched? I
know I would most probably be sad about it; and I would lock myself up in some
small dark room and never see the light of day until the sand in my hour glass
runs out.
But that quite different from what I would really want to do.....
I would love to do everything I want to do NOW.
Go skydiving, bungee jumping, ride on a roller coaster, go
deep sea diving in the Necker Island and probably spend my last days eating ham
and melon in some tiny town Italy. I would also love to attend a Mascheranda
Grand Ball in Venice and probably partake in a proper Venetian themed orgy
(Just like the one Tom Cruise attempted to attend in ‘Eyes Wide Shut’)
Now that I have a vague description of what I would like to
do if I knew that I was dying in a few weeks or months, it makes me wonder why
I am not doing that given that I know that I am eventually going to die.....
Sooner or later.
