My relationship with Phase-book.

When I first registered myself on Phase-book in 2007 I was super excited…… I just couldn't stop posting, inboxing and commenting in an attempt of catching up with everyone I knew in the heydays; thanks to my good memory, I managed to track down every single childhood boy I fancied and happily reminded them of how they “overlooked” me and went for the girls with longer hair and bigger boobs (chuckle). It also gave me the chance to ‘catch up’ with the girls who thought they were Queen Bees and getting a quick glimpse of how life was treating them now.

Growing up I was an ugly duckling…… I didn't get much attention from the boys (probably because I was a tomboy who peed in bed –still do sometimes, but that is a story for another day- lol)

By the moment I hit high school, my grey feathers started falling off and I evolved to something else. It doesn't surprise that most of the boys who never paid much attention to me in pre-school regretted it when they saw me again…… On Phase-book.

It was like those school reunions many people dread, where the skater boys who were told “see you later boys” meet the ex-cheerleaders who opted for the pumped up football players only to turn up later in life looking all worn out; nothing close to what they did when their teenage hormones were sizzling and their breasts and hips were blossoming.

It is life’s way of proving that Karma is a bitch.

My exit came as a surprise for most of my friends because I was VERY active. I used to play many level games (Farmville, Frontierville, Cityville) I was raising my own family, building my own empire and making my own money ON FACEBOOK! I was rich! The amount of satisfaction I got from that was amazing. It was like a drug that I couldn't go without; sometimes I used to wake up in the middle of the night to harvest my crops on Farmville or feed my kids on Frontierville. I would spend hours on the internet hoping from one game to another while uploading photos, chatting and engaging in the comments on my wall.

I was spending more time harvesting my gaming friends’ crops, begging them to help me out with my tasks or arguing out my opinions with total strangers in groups. At times the arguments would get nasty, and I was the iron fist once it got to dealing with such matters; but it was only when I found out about internet trolls and what they aim to achieve by shit-stirring that I stopped getting sentimental during group discussions.

So why did I leave Phase-book? It started off as a much needed social media sabbatical. It was just after my second wedding anniversary and I was going through a very rough patch in my life and being the bubbly open book I am, it got my friends very concerned each time I expressed a hint of sadness. Of course I was at a bad place in my life but as much as I needed the support, but I was starting to get frustrated at people feeling sorry for me and sending me motivational messages.

Then I started a new job and broke a major Phase-book rule…… I accepted Phase-friend requests from my colleagues; a major NO-NO in my books. But by the time I realised my major blunder, I couldn't delete them all and restricting them would be rather suspicious.

As much as I valued my friendships, they were becoming so superficial. I was getting tired of people not making up their minds on whether they were ‘In an open relationship’ , ‘Single’ ,  ‘Widowed’ , ‘Married’ or ‘Its Complicated’.

I remember getting bored one day and changing my real birthdate from October 24th to the next day and a few hours later, hundreds of birthday wishes started streaming in! Some of my real friends even fell for it! That is when I realised that I could be anyone I wanted to be and people would believe anything I said as long as they read it on Phase-book.

It was a Phase that I needed to get past…… So I sent a wall post saying that I was taking a break and deactivated my account for two weeks. During my time off I didn't miss it and was only intouch with about five people; that was when I knew that I was doing the right thing.

So I logged back on and made the announcement, I WAS GOING FOR GOOD. I put up a wall post and told my Phase-friends that I thought Phase-book was a total waste of my time and that I was leaving.

I also deleted my 90+ photo albums (my husband thinks it was irrelevant given that I was not planning on going back, but I needed to erase anything that had the capacity to tempt me back.)

I then sent an email to my friends giving them alternative ways to get in touch with me and I have never felt more liberated. While this move is unimaginable to many people, bidding adieu to Phase-book actually strengthened my existing relationships and enhanced my social life.

Of course it means that I am out of touch with many people, some who I will dearly miss, but anyone who is not willing to keep touch with me via email, phone, text, pigeon, drums or smoke signals is a peripheral acquaintance who does not matter and is not worth keeping touch with. Period. I also spend my time doing better things, like watching movies on Netflix and Blogging ;-)

Me not being on Phase-book is without fail a splendid conversation starter, and it adds a certain element of “ suspense” to my life…… so I have been told.