My biggest fear.

In my young life, I’ve never officially 'broken up' with anyone..... Whenever I felt that something was not working out for me, I found enough time and distance to drift away without causing hurt or disappointment.  And whenever I’ve  bumped into anyone from my past I never ignore them neither do I feel like walking into busy traffic; if anything I’m as pleased to see them as they are to see me.

I recently watched 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind'; an intriguing and thought provoking movie about a couple who undergo a procedure to erase each other from their memories when their relationship turns sour.

They then meet up on a train and are almost immediately drawn to each other on account of their radically different personalities and although they apparently do not realize it at the time, they are in fact former lovers, now separated after having spent two years together.

One of my biggest fears is that if I ever broke up with my spouse, he would never want to see me again let alone keep touch. He once told me that he is not the type to ‘keep touch’ with exes; in other words regardless of the terms under which the breaking up occurs, I won’t be exempted from the consequences that have befallen those who came before me.

So since I don't know how to go on about getting someone erased off my memory, my best chances at the moment would lay on enjoying and making the most of what I have right now; It surely would be sad and a little heartbreaking to have invested a lot of time and emotions to be with someone only to realise that if you ever walked out the door your foot would never be let back in...... even through the letter box L