Fake it till you make it?

I used to wonder how someone can call themselves Sir without being officially knighted by the queen (or a representative of hers). But even without a drop of blue in your blood, you could buy a title? Apparently quite legitimately you can call yourself whatever you want as long as you are not defrauding people through its use.

So for a small cash payment, you could be signing yourself Lord, Lady or Laird!

In Kenya we have one Sir.Njonjo a.k.a Sir.Charles a.k.a Duke of Kabeteshire who lives a very English lifestyle, is ashamed of being African and tops it with a reputation of snobbery. But unlike many people who buy their titles, Sir.Njonjo got his due to his horrid reputation for snobbery (and other anti-social atrocities.).

There’s obviously real demand for paid-for titles; a quick internet search shows pages of companies offering to make you a lord, lady or laird, or even a marquis or duke if you pay enough and while some websites charge hundreds to thousands of pounds for the titles, you can buy one for just under £20.

Lordship of the Manor (Lord) and Ladyship of the Manor (Lady) come with a personalised certificate (gold embossed), a few inches or feet of dedicated land in the English woodlands or Scottish highlands, historic coat of arms insignia and a presentation pack. The land is held in charitable trust and the money goes towards conservation work in the said estate; quite a good way of making the wanna-be culprits feel good about their dirty deed. (chuckle)

On one of the title selling websites, they say

“You're about to discover the amazing gift idea which has taken the U.S. and Europe by storm. This gift idea is guaranteed to bring you or a loved one:

• Increased respect from the people you know
• VIP treatment
• Access to the privileged world
• A instant talking point with your friends
• Prestige in the financial world
• A boost to your personal confidence
• Opportunities that otherwise would've passed you by
• Opened doors in your career
• Discounts in the consumer world
• The ability to influence people effortlessly

It's frightening how people in the twenty-first century still perceive a person with a title to be richer, more intelligent and better thought of, than the average Mr. Joe Bloggs. But people do - and you can take advantage of it.

The title holder will notice the instant change in people's attitudes. From the very first moment they realize that you have a title they will treat you as if you were royalty.”

Of course my friends would laugh at my face if I ever divulged that I had just bought myself a title, but in reality if I decided to buy a title my new-found nobility would gain me access to exclusive night clubs, free flight upgrades and if I called a Michelin starred restaurant and said I was Lady Scott, they would ensure that I got the best table, give me complementary champagne and even make sure the head chef came in to introduce himself to me. (lol)  just shows how shallow society is.

Fakery aside, how much is a REAL title? According to the internet, you can buy certain real titles, but it’s a pricey business. Chris Eubank paid £45,000 back in 1996 for the title Lord of the Manor of Brighton. French international bad boy footballer Djibril Cisse became Lord of the Manor of Frodsham when he bought a manor house in Cheshire that came with the title. The property is rumoured to have cost a cool £2 million.

Please be warned that buying a title is hugely looked down on in aristocratic circles, so unless you have the money to buy a real title and match it with a proper lifestyle, all you have bought with your £30 is just a fancy piece of paper - nothing but a change of name that you could have done with a solicitor for just £25.