If I had a £ for every time I've had an argument with my mother about when I will “give her grandchildren”, I would have a P.A to do this bloody blogging for me.
The last time she tried to start an ‘OCCUPY TINDA’S UTERUS’
movement, I told her that I will rip my uterus off and feed it to the
neighbourhood stray cats. (No kidding.)
I love children (well behaved ones) and before I go on blabbing
about the hows and whys, let me proclaim that I’m not an old woman with a
wrinkled crotch and sand filled mammary glands; I am in my late twenties and my
ovaries are constantly telling me that they produce fresh-as-daisies-ovum. Does
that make me want to have kids? NO.
Six years ago, having a baby was all I could think about..... Reason
being I wanted to quickly sprint through the “child-bearing-phase” while I was
still young and tight. They say that the younger you are when you push your
melon/s, the quicker you bounce back to your sexy body.
I bought cute neutral coloured baby clothes, fleece
blankets, bottles and pacifiers in preparation to getting pregnant; but as time
went by and my knees turned to jelly, I gave them all to my sister in-law for
her second baby.
After a long while my hormones kicked in right before I got
married; and I started getting obsessed about the fact that my “fertility shop”
was not going to stay open forever, so I took vitamins and minerals with an aim
of increasing my chances of getting pregnant..... My significant other at the time
never knew that I was trying to get pregnant, but it was only after I got
married that I realised that kids (chuckle) were never my thing. I ran to the gynecologist
for my 4 year contraceptive implant.
So what drives women into the sudden rush into maternity?
Is it driven by age, society, or the speed to get things ‘over
and done with’?
I was driven by the latter...... I knew that I was about to
settle down in a society where taking care of kids is quite expensive and wanted
to get it out of my way before settling into my career.
Had things gone as I had mapped out, I'd be at such a sad
place right now…… just like Isabella Dutton is.
Isabella is a Bri’ish woman whose honesty was cursed by some
and applauded by most (Including me). She wrote an article ( http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2303588/The-mother-says-having-children-biggest-regret-life.html#addComment ) which expressed how
having two children is the biggest regret of her life. She never intended on
having children, but like most women, she felt that her circumstance (marriage) expected her to
push out one melon after another.
Now I'd ask why she had the second one if she already regretted
having the first one, but just like many women, she thought that having one
child would be selfish and probably wanted a ‘play-mate’ for her son. (sigh)
'What I valued most in my life was time on my own; to reflect, read and enjoy my own company and peace of mind.
And suddenly that peace and solitude wasn't there any more.
There were two small interlopers intruding on it. And I've never got that peace back.'
Isabella Dutton
For ages children have been used as 'play-mates' for their sibling, to pass on genes, to "save" failing marriages and they are the "glue" that keeps most people together. It is admittedly easier to walk away from a bad relationship if there are no kids involved. A huge plus+ I'd say.
So do I think that people with children have a better quality of life and are happier than I am? NO. If anything I have gotten to a point
where I feel sorry for people who have children. Having observed people I know bringing up their children and imagining the worry they have to endure while trying to provide the best for their children and the
blame they put on themselves every time their children are unsuccessful, I'd count myself lucky to have known better. Only one friend has ever admitted that if she was given the chance to do it over again, SHE WOULDN'T.
'I resented the time my children consumed.
Like parasites, they took from me and didn't give back'
Isabella Dutton
Thing is, your children are not yours till they turn 18, they are yours till
death parts you..... and while you lay on your death bed, you will still be thinking
about their well-being and the legacy (if any) you've left behind for them.
To me, the sacrifice of laying my lifelong plans around children is not worth
it.....I will forever be thankful that something deep within me held me back from making what would be the biggest mistake of my life. But screw regretting..... I’ll just renew my implant when the time comes, buy myself a well deserved pair of shoes and stick a diaper on them! (GRIN)
but I believe there will also be those who secretly feel the same'.
Isabella Dutton
And when it’s all said and done, Some will, Some won’t, So what?
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