My brief relationship with Mr.Atkins.

“Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?!”

― Erma Bombeck.

I reminisce about the days I'd walk into the health club for a little swim, steam and sauna. My body was the stimulus of many women’s gym expectations; they could not help but ask “How do you maintain your figure?” I just chuckled and said “I just swim and eat anything I want to eat; I guess it’s in the family.”

I tossed that line around until I got a bit “comfortable” with my life; I had never lifted weights, never knew how running on a treadmill felt like and I had never been the kind of person who believed in applying any restrictive measures to lose some inches here (looking at my waist) and some inches there (looking at my hips) until I bounced from 54Kgs to 70Kgs within a span of a few years.

The only thing that derailed me from my hard-working gym schedule and convinced me to take the easy way out was Lillian’s weight loss on the Atkins diet. She shrunk down in-front of my very eyes (♪dramatic soundtrack♫) So I went on a pursuit to join the skinny bitch club by stuffing myself with protein and staying away from anything laden with Carbs (Bread, Rice, Pasta, Cereals, Sugar even Fruit.)

I was great at it….. Never have I been so scrupulous about anything in my life like I was with my diet; I could almost feel the fat melting off my thighs, the cellulite getting ironed out of my hips and the layer of fat on my obliques getting toned down. I fantasized about shrinking several dress sizes down (rolling my eyes).

For 7 days I suffered on a protein ONLY diet complemented by mood swings, head aches, bad breath, serious cravings and constipation that made me feel like I had just given birth via the end of my digestive system (for the lack of a better synonym); I stuck to the cheese and meat aisle in the supermarket because I never wanted to be led to temptation, all in the name of shedding a few Kgs. Until I decided to weigh myself and check the fruits of my literal labour….. NOTHING! Not even a gram.

As a self-proclaimed gym fanatic, I hate acknowledging that I tried dieting and failed miserably despite the hard fact that I did EVERYTHING the bloody book told me to do .…. (Deep sigh) .…. That was the end of my relationship with the Mr. Atkins (and any other diet for a fact).