The "Benefits" of being married.

Men's Health claims that if you're susceptible to vice, you should find a wife. She'll save you from yourself and improve your life in a variety of ways. Notably, she'll........

1. Increase Your Pay
A Virginia Commonwealth University study found that married men earn 22 percent more than their similarly experienced but single colleagues. 

(Probably because your boss knows that the output in a married man’s bank account is evidently more than the input. I don’t have a PhD but let's assume that married men do make 22% more. If they spend 40% more, wouldn't they net lose 18%? Wouldn't they also work harder, and 'hang in there' at their job to earn enough in-order to pay for the extra expenses?)

2. Speed Up Your Next Promotion

Married men receive higher performance ratings and faster promotions than bachelors, a 2005 study of U.S. Navy officers reported. (Yes, because she will get you down on your knees kissing your bosses arse for a promotion.)


3. Keep You Out of Trouble
According to a recent U.S. Department of Justice report, male victims of violent crime are nearly four times more likely to be single than married.
(Due to the curfews and threats to unleash the Cheaters investigators on you if you came in late. Oh, and what about the risks of getting stabbed by the wife? Or having something hurled at your face? My husband knows a thing or two about the latter. chuckle)

4. Satisfy You in Bed
In 2006, British researchers reviewed the sexual habits of men in 38 countries and found that in every country, married men have more sex. (Ow Really? My husband would desperately beg to differ.)

5. Help You Beat Cancer
In a Norwegian study, divorced and never-married male cancer patients had 11 and 16 percent higher mortality rates, respectively, than married men.
(Reaaaally? So what does cancer have to do with marriage? Or is it about lifestyle change? They are less likely to be partying and drinking heavily or engaging in risky ‘adventures’ and more likely to have home cooked meals, stop smoking (if they smoke) and all that blah.)

6. Help You Live Longer

A UCLA study found that people in generally excellent health were 88 percent more likely to die over the 8-year study period if they were single.
(My two pence is a wife will probably drive you to your grave depending on the circumstances. My husband was single for 52 years and never had problems with his health neither did he have a single wrinkle on his face. He has gained a few Kgs since we got married, and I am keeping an eye out for the wrinkles.)