Ketchetiquette

*****Disrespectchup: (dis-ri-ˈspeke-chəp) noun. To overuse and abuse ketchup, particularly on dishes beyond fries, hash browns, burgers, and eggs. When my wife took my lovingly grilled lime pork tenderloin and added ketchup, it was a disrespectchup.*****

I choose not to write about world peace, global warming or those poor African children dying of hunger but instead write about a more interesting subject......... KETCHUP!

While aimlessly browsing the net this morning, it just came to my attention that there is a “Guide” to eating tomato ketchup correctly.
Now before you all go around embarrassing yourselves with your bottles of ketchup, you have to know that there are very strict rules that ought to be adhered to once it comes to ketchup. So here are some pointers that will come in handy while facing the tough world of Ketchetiquette (You can thank me later.)

Firstly, Tomato Ketchup is an accompaniment to food and so, by definition, is a condiment; the key to condiment etiquette is to take small portions on to your plate, and never to smear it all over a burger or a roll direct from the bottle or knife! (How dare you!)

Secondly, when entertaining, never allow the bottle of tomato ketchup anywhere near the table, no matter how ‘posh’ the manufacturer – Heinz is probably still the best and easiest to get out of the bottle!  Shake the bottle well, holding the cap, and then tip or spoon into a small pot.  For a chic barbeque or supper, serve guests with individual tiny pots (ramekins) and small spoons so they can take their own.

Thirdly, always spoon ketchup directly on to the plate (as one would with a sauce or jelly).  At a formal meal, never ask for it unless it is already on the table, and never dip anything into the bowl.  If you do find a bottle on a table at a supper party, never squirt it all over food, don’t mix it with salt and pepper and don’t eat it with your fingers!

Goodness gracious me! I never went to etiquette school to learn that I should treat ketchup with the utmost respect it deserves, but as long as I already know how not to smear it all over my fries, this ketchup etiquette guide is utterly preposterous! (but I would only apply it if I was invited for lunch at the Buckingham palace by Liz, her highness.) chuckle.