My Badge.

“If I love you, I will carry for you all your pain, I will assume for you all your debts (in every definition of the word), I will protect you from your own insecurity, I will protect upon you all sorts of good qualities that you have never actually cultivated in yourself and I will buy Christmas presents for your entire family. I will give you the sun and the rain, and if they are not available, I will give you a sun check and a rain check. I will give you all this and more, until I get so exhausted and depleted that the only way I can recover my energy is by becoming infatuated with someone else.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert

When a friend shared about how her life was turned upside down when partner of many years left her when she shed off her weight, I thought it was preposterous..... I just didn’t get it. He wasn't happy with how she looked and desired her more when her feet were swelling and her back was constantly aching from the weight she was dragging around.

But then in a recent conversation a very close male friend, he expressed how upset his wife gets when he goes to the gym, she doesn't apprehend why he puts any effort in 'looking good' and doesn't like that her friends are always complementing him on how good his physique is (I can affirm that his body is electrifying.....Seriously)

Those two scenarios reminded me of me, I am the absolute opposite.

My generosity and dedication to “perfection” has on several occasions gotten me into trouble and can easily be misconstrued if the other party isn't appreciative and open to a little bit of positive change.

“Aren't you happy with how I look?” is a question I've always been scared of answering. I think anyone coming into my life is a work in progress and it is my duty to take some control and improve what needs to be improved instead of complaining about how I feel my partner should look..... YES I am guilty of “pimping”, but that doesn't mean anything other than wanting to be with a man who feels self-assured in how he looks.

I perceive a partner as a companion who should complement and represent me, as much as do the same for him. Therefore, I thrive and take great pride in making sure he looks his best, whether he is out with me, by himself, or with his friends.

I am lucky to have several languages of love, but my strongest one is giving, giving, giving and giving.....

I shop, groom, tweeze, trim, wax, and do anything necessary in making sure that my man feels great about himself and doesn't doubt my attraction to him. If need be, I’d drag him to the gym if I ever felt that his waist was getting wider than it should and I’d expect him to do the same.

Regrettably, some people are besotted with the desire of being the "saviour" and would rather see their partners gain flab, wear a sack and be deprived of a social life; anything to make them feel ‘relied on’ and reassured in their relationship. Many people like it when their partners have some “insecurity”..... Something that will make their partner climb to the highest peak and scream of how ‘lucky’ they are to have someone who ‘takes them like they are’, hence making them feel more powerful in the relationship.

My friends reckon I’d make a very good image consultant because I love transforming and filing down the jagged edges..... more like doing a makeover. "You enriched his life Tinda..... I bet he will forever be grateful for that" a very close friend said.

My man is my badge..... And I should wear my badge with poise and pride. NEXT!