Let go..... With love.

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. 

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. 

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master...” 
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

I read the story of the two monks who were walking back to their monastery when they came to a ford at a stream. At the ford, a pretty farmer's daughter asked them to help her cross the stream as she did not want to get the mud on her new dress. The first monk ignored her and continued on his way remembering the strict rules of their order to not look at women. Without speaking, the second monk picked her up in his arms and carried her across the stream. He let her down on the other side and continued walking with the other monk. The first monk began to chastise him, asking him if he had forgotten the strict rules of their order. He kept referring to the incident all the way back to the monastery. As they reached the gateway of the monastery, he referred to the matter again. The second monk turned to him and said, "Are you still carrying the woman with you? I left her at the stream."

This insightful story inspired my writing tonight.....

We all deal with breakups contrarily and letting go is never easy;

1. Some of us get depressed and go into total seclusion..... What I call 'The mushroom life'.

2. Others go for the pocket because we know that that’s where it tends to hurt the most.....We take our partners to the ‘cleaners’ and clean them out of every hard earned penny they ever worked hard for.

3. Then there are those of us who have kids and use them as ammunition in the war, promising to make each other regret that we ever met.

4.  And lastly there are those who get into the "party like a rockstar" lifestyle - where we take numerous photos (and selfies) with random people, and post them on social media sites in an attempt of proving that we have moved on and are "happy" with our irrelevant new lives.

The truth comes out in the precincts of our own homes..... That is when it dawns on us just how much we are hurting and how heartbreaking and hard it is to lose someone we once loved or still love. We cry and choke, mourning what once was.

So why do some people get all stuck up about it and go on a vengeance trip? Why can't we accept that it actually 'is what it is' and although things did not work out we should at least be grateful for what we invested on each other?

Some of us would rather see our exes hanging with hooks tearing through their nipples and others would prefer wearing our ex's balls for earrings..... We quickly overlook that those are the same people we once cared for, made love to, and spent some of the happiness moments of our lives with. Unless someone mistreated you and mopped the floor with you, the line between love and hate doesn't need to be so thin. We should not venture out in a pursuit to abolish what we once strongly stood for.

What makes it so hard for us to keep on loving our exes and want the best for them? We can travel beyond the horizons looking for a 'clone' to fill our empty spaces, but when it's all said and done, we know where our hearts belong..... 

In each tear, there’s a lesson..... Dwelling on the past can greatly hinder your happiness and personal growth and there isn't much we can achieve by consecrating our lives to punishing someone else just because they were not the one for us. Cherish the great memories and let go of any knots you might have from a bad relationship, it is the only way you can ever be happy and appreciative of the next chapter in your life. 

Mistakes are gifts that show us the way forward..... Forgive, let loose and let go.